We'll call him Ed. This Bud's for you...

Earlier in the evening we noticed an intruder in our house, a little outdoors lizard. My mom and I are both wimps who can’t stomach the thought of one touching us. Well, it was in my mom’s room so I didn’t have to worry about it. She sent my dog after him to chase him, but to no avail, Machismo was unsuccessful. Later on, around 11:30 p.m. or so, my mom screams for me to come to her room. So I come running. She tells me she found the little bugger again. Then she beckons for me to get wasp spray. Normally I am all about killing small creatures, but I simply can’t do that to a lizard. So I devise a plan to trap him in a container. The only problem is I am too chicken shit to go near him. Well I attempt, and he runs under the dresser. Then full on attack mode is in force. We search the room for things we can throw at him to get him to come out of hiding. First my mom finds a small bottle of lotion to whack at him. He moves up and onto the wall, so we start launching pennies at him, but he does not move. I conclude that we need to find larger objects to throw at him, so we throw a random egg of silly putty at him. He moves. However we couldn’t get the little dude to come out from under the dresser, so my mom runs to her closet and gets the window swifter and we started whacking him with that. Well the top falls off of that, but the handle makes a perfect tool to guide him where to go. Mind you every time he moves, I scream my lungs out. Well, after throwing several foreign objects at him, he finally surrendered and came out into the light and I quickly trapped him and my mom slid the lid underneath and we secured him in the Tupperware. I then released him into the wild.